2004-10-25 - 3:42 a.m.

You see the entry time here? 3:42 a.m....I am an idiot. I have to be to work at 9:00 and since I don't trust myself to wake up, here I am staying up all night and all day long. I remember the good ole days when I could do this with no problem. I am 24 now and it is far more difficult than when I was 18. Back when my porn career was just starting...err....work career.

So I recently turned 24 this past week and I am now officially an old man. I realize that if I sleep differently, my back and neck hurt like hell for at least two days afterwards. I woke up this morning with the feeling like I slept on a shoe right in the middle of my back. I don't often sleep with shoes, so this made no sense to me. I now have a nice sized knot in my back and I want to cry every time I bend over. I am used to that though...

I am also off of my week vacation which sucks gigantic donkey dick. I would love just one more day to try to sleep all day long. My record is 16 hours. With my dog alarm now, it's rare to get more than 6 hours without being woken up by shrill screaming and crying. After I let my victim out of the closet, I take my dog out and I am up after that.

So on my "vacation", I got to help my girlfriend paint two rooms in her house, I played monopoly, I cleaned my room up a bit, and played Warcraft III. Keep in mind that in my eyes, "cleaning up my room a bit", involves a lot of pretending to move shit around, putting smelly clothes down my laundry shoot, and throwing away garbage. However, this does not involve any cleaning products at all. I was done with this process in about 20 minutes and my room looks and smells the exact same. It's utter chaos and it has the familiar scent of ass crack, old food, and dog fart. Oh if that were a cologne, the women would flock to you as much as they do to me. I have a green aura of stench around me from my rooms sweet smell.

I got another sales call today that I always enjoy sharing.

Sales - Hi, can I speak...?

Me - (rudely interupting) You sure can speak. Is this a survey? Did I win anything?

Sales - I am calling from....

Me - Oh my god, my horse is on fire! I gotta go put out! (that's no typo, that's what I said, put out)

Sales - Ok, I will call b....

Me - Want to buy some burned horse meat? Hello? You there?

I love it.

Side note: If you tarred a driveway, and you put a second coat of tar on, would your driveway be a retard afterwards? Interesting...

Well that's all my bitchez...I'm off to play some more WC3 and torture my closet victim. Same phat site, same phat time. Fuck you.

previous - next

email: