2005-03-21 - 8:19 p.m.

Holy update needed! Let's get right into it. My bestest friend in the whole widest world got married on Saturday and I got to stand up in it. It had to be the most ass kickenest wedding I have been to. Lots of fun and lots of alcohol. Good times. Congratulations again bitch!

Anyways, so Michael Jackson is in court again for some "fabricated stories by another 13 year old, porn addicted, alcohol loving, liar". Those are very common now a days. I hope he goes to jail and he rots, even if he's not guilty and didn't do anything wrong. Come on....what 46 year old grown ass man lets children sleep in his bed with them? I think he should get the death penalty. But in my world, it would be a bit different....

It would begin with an immediate guilty charge against him. Why you ask? Because when you mess with children, you seriously fuck them up. My sentence would be plain but simple. I would force him to wear FUBU, a bandana, and a Sean Jean jersey. As if the Sean Jean isn't bad enough, I would be forcing him to be black. I would shave his head, throw gang signs on his arms, and toss his sweet ass into Los Angeles County Prison. After about an hour in there, if he wasn't dead, he would wish he was. Afterwards, I would force him back to his Neverland Ranch where he would live in complete solitary confinement. All his rides would be shut down and his animals would be taken away, but it would be left exactly how it was. I'd also burn down that fucking wishing tree. Give him the empty childhood that he has forced on these other kids. After a few years of that, I would put him against R. Kelly in a caged death match and stick it on pay per view. Any money made would go towards the "Help Ryan get a new house and car fund."

"In this corner, wearing the pee stained yellow trunks, the golden stream pissing machine, R. "The Urine King" Kelly! And in this corner, the defending champion of the world for THE creepiest person to ever walk the face of the planet and that includes the freakishly short Napoleon Bonaparte, Michael "Captain Molesto" Jackson!"

I would give up a lot of money to see something like that....

Terri "I'm hungry" Schiavo, is still fighting to keep from being squashed. Get it? Cuz she's a vegetable! Bah fuck off if you don't think that's funny. That's a double pun god dammit! Anyways, this is probably one of the most disgusting acts by a person ever. She has been a veggie salad since a heart attack and blood clot some 15 years ago and they just won't let the feeding tube stay out of her. This may be the last try by the parents to keep her alive, but I am pulling for her husband on this one. It's gross to keep someone alive on a feeding tube regardless if they can breath on their own or not. She can feel no pain, has no brain activity, and will never make it out of her current state. She is a shell right now waiting to die and letting her go is the best thing that can happen for her. Well, actually gaining her brain activity back and waking up would be the best thing, but that aint gonna happen. If I were a news caster covering this story though, I would show clips of her while playing, "Hungry like the Wolf" and "Hungry Eyes". Oh wow. I will see anyone who even remotely smiled at that in the sweet pits of burning hell.

Until I see you horrible people again, allow me to run one last quote by you from Terri "Schoooo Hungry" Schiavo, who says,

"............................."

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