2004-12-14 - 9:32 p.m.

Well it seems to be a common theme in my website, but I think my dad is gay. I am sitting here playing a computer game bored as can be and I hear some faint music in the background.....

".....Make a little love! Get down tonight! Get down tonight!"

I thought maybe this was from a movie or something.

A few minutes later....

"Oh no not I...I will survive!"

Hmmm....it's getting questionable now.

"IT'S RAINING MEN! HALLELUJAH IT'S RAINING MEN! AMEN!"

At this point, I walked downstairs and said, "What the FUCK is going on?" He said with a stone cold straight face, "I'm watching a disco special on channel 11."

Well I just want to say I now have something good to tell my psychiatrist in a few years when I have gender issues and can't stop wearing make up....just like my dad....god dammit.

Speaking of computer games, I have been FUCKING suspended from my FUCKING game because my FUCKING potty FUCKING mouth. I have a 72 hour "suspension" so I will probably be updating everyday for a while. At least until World of Warcraft steals my life again in a few days. It's kind of funny that I got suspended from a video game like it's high school.

Blizzard Employee - "Well Ryan, you made a joke about raping an 8 year old and you said "fuck" 4 times in one sentence. I am going to suspend you from the internet for 72 hours."

This is the funny part. I'm actually pissed off. I can't believe how hooked I am on this game. It's like a fucking forced intervention and getting kidnapped into rehab. I don't want to stop though....bastids. I'm just going to hop back on the junk as soon as I can so they might as well just let me in.

For an update, my dad just turned up "Dancing Queen" by Abba....I'm so damn ashamed...and confused....and suddenly I want to learn to knit a sleeveless pink turtleneck. Stupid gay music.

So I learned a new trick to fuck with people. This works really well in person, but it can be applied over the phone. There is this dude I really hate in my office but he always says Hi to me. Thus, I decided he would be a good target for me. This went like so...

Douche Ass - "Hi Ryan"

Me- "Hey man, how are ya?"

DA - "I'm good, how about you?"

This is the fun part.

Me - "I'm good, how are you?"

I got the exact reaction I was looking for from it too. The "umm....", followed by an awkward silence and no response. Give it a shot to your local office asshole. It works very well. If they catch you on it and say, "Umm...you already said that?", don't even respond and wait for them to walk away. This is a very very good way to get rid of them for at least an hour. You have to be able to keep a straight face however. I suggest thinking of shaved cats dancing on this person's head while trying to consider the many meanings of the word, "Cunnilingus".

Well that's all for tonight. I think I am going to go shopping or something. If that falls through, I'm going to do the hustle with my dad.

I mean the dance you fucking sickos....

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