2004-12-29 - 6:36 p.m.

Well, I forgot to update for Christmas so here I am to talk about that and New Years Eve.

This was the first year in a long time that Christmas was completely sober. I am a bit disappointed in myself, but I'll get to that in a minute. I realized over my time shopping at the stores that I really hate everyone. I hate cashiers, I hate lines and I especially hate the people who are in front of me talking on their cell phones to their moron spouses about nonsense. I went to Target to get my niece something that wasn't dirty, or opened, or had missing pieces and it was very difficult. Why is it okay to just let your little asshole child just start opening up boxes in a store? I remember getting hit for that as a kid....in the face.....with bricks....in public. I learned to never open up shit that isn't mine, but yet some little ass face illegitimate child runs along and opens up everything he sees. Children like that should be put to sleep. I'm just kidding. I never got hit with bricks.

So this Christmas, I didn't really drink that much. I think I only had about four beers. : ( Sad face indeed. I am going to have to make up for it with New Years though. I plan on throwing up on someone or insulting someone really bad. That should make up for time lost. Maybe I'll get real drunk and ask some fat chick if she's pregnant. That's always a fun time. Maybe end up passed out with my pants down talking about how no one understands.

So I got my girlfriend a necklace for Christmas and she seemed to like it. I think I did good. Cost me a pretty penny though. $20 goes a long way nowadays. The whores at the jewelry store were wearing the most guady shit I have ever seen on their fingers and necks. It looked like they were playing dress up in their moms jewelry. I am not kidding, one chick looked like she was trying for the Mr. T look. She had the solid gold rope and everything. The mohawk was a bit much though. After I was done buying the necklace, she picked up her tommy gun and said, "Hey Murdock, start up the chopper" and put a cigar in her mouth. That was the kicker.

So the last time I went into a jewelry store, I was looking at earrings when some other skanked up broad came over to help me. She started off nice and friendly trying to help me and then began asking me when I am going to be buying the engagement ring. I wanted to make this as awkward as I could so I wasn't very nice and it ended quickly.

Skank ass skank - "So, when are you going to finally buy the engagement ring?"

Me - "Hah....Umm....I don't think so. I'm only 22 (which I was at the time)."

SAS - "I was married and had my first kid on the way at 22"

Me - "Was married? As in you are divorced?"

SAS - Dumbly nodding her head yes.

Me - "Well thanks for playing, come again. That's why I'm not married. So where are you earrings again?"

I love making people look stupid. Especially when they are digging into personal shit. Especially when I am wearing my clown suit. Er. Yeah, I'll stand by that.

Speaking of shit that pisses me off, why does EVERYONE get so fuckin pissy and defensive if you bring up religion or politics? Why is this such a bad topic to jump on? Most of the time, people get mad if you question their belief on something and walk away. I don't get it. If you have that much faith in your God, or that much faith in your Democrat or Republican or whatever, shouldn't you be able to talk about them without trying to cut someone's neck off? I can accept when someone has a different view on stuff, but this is not the case with most people. Of course this is coming from an athiest, alcoholic, Scotch/Irish Mick who really doesn't give a flying ass fuck who he offends.

Well it's been fun. I will update when I actually have something good to talk about. Until we meet again, remember the wise words of my great great grand father who said,

"My great great grandson is an asshole."

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