2005-05-05 - 6:29 p.m.

Happy Cinco De Mayo fuckers! Well I am back here finallly after many weeks of being MIA. Hopefully this will be remotely interesting....probably not but whatever.

So I realized that I grew up white trash as can be. Anyone else? Well since this is the internet and I can't hear or see you, I will assume you want to hear more. When I was younger, probably about 4 or 5, I had a big wheel. I had the ultimate big wheel. I had KIT from Knight Rider. I also had another big wheel which was the Flinstones. Well over a certain amount of use, I broke both of these. Instead of buying a brand new big wheel, my dad, being the Catholic can't throw anything away father that he is, decided to combine the two and make....."Knight Stones." When I would ride around on said hybrid, I could not only fight crime, but work in the rock quarry, shoot guns, and eat a gigantic set of ribs that would tip over my excellent ride. Embarassing? A tad. But wait...there's more.

As I grew up, I was left to fend for myself more and more for food. I began to learn that toast and jelly, plain white rice, and cereal with orange juice are all valid substitutes for dinner. $20 went a very long way fast food wise for dinner. That was a good week of good eats. Now it's a lot different. I'm still broke white trash, and the cost of food is a lot more money. I still only have $20, and it only lasts for 2 or 3 days now. Yay inflation!

So, I finally ended up sick. I have been waiting for this shit since November. Every time the stupid fucking weather in Chicago changes, I get the fantastic fun of Post Nasal Drip. I don't even go to a doctor anymore. Plenty of fluids, fight the fever, hot showers, gatorade, water and soup. Good fucking times. It's the worst shit created because now my nose is as red as a monkeys ass, my entire face is chapped from wiping my INCESSANT running nose, and a slight cough that makes me sound gay. It's not the hacking cough, or the deep throaty cough, it's the I just touched my gag reflex cough. You know the one. Stick your pinky in your mouth and touch that little hangy ball thing in the back. That little gay cough.

Anyways, I'm off to hide in the steaming hot shower to attempt to burn off any bit of sickness left in me. I realize this stupid entry had ZERO humor in it so I will leave with this:

Picture a midget having sex with a watermelon......haha.....much better.

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