2005-12-07 - 11:25 p.m.

Well the weather finally changed in Chicago. When I say it changed, I do mean it has gone from fairly decent 20-30� weather, down to windy ass, bone chilling, "Where did my balls go?", 5-10� weather. The worst part is how it just cuts right into you. Actually, for me that is not the worst part. Let me tell you a little story.

You see, I live at home with my dad. I am not ashamed of that. I had some money issues and was laid off from my old job. My dad was nice enough to let me come back home and live here rent free and let me get back on my feet. This is something that I am extremely grateful for. Very few people have the opportunity to get a quick break from real life and focus all their money on bills to get debt free. Well I am also back in my old bedroom which is very small. It's a tiny bit bigger than a jail cell. As the weather changes in Chicago, it is white trash custom to bag up your winter shit and toss it in the closet or basement to make room for your summer stuff and vice versa for when it gets cold. My family also donates old clothes that don't fit anymore to homeless shelters and such. Well, as my luck would have it, my dad mistook my winter shit, for donating shit and donated alllllllll my winter clothes. I don't feel too bad since he did it to himself as well. So now neither of us have a winter coat, fleeces or jackets or anything. Kind of funny actually. So I am basically wearing a coat that would be good for about 50� weather, and freezing my sack off when I walk outside. Good times. So, I am officially starting up the "I Need A Fucking Jacket" fund. All proceeds of the INAFJ fund will go directly to me where I may or may not change my mind and spend the money on an XBOX 360, or blow it all at the boat. Guess I have to go shopping for some shit before it actually gets below 0. The kind of weather where you take your dog outside to pee and their pee freezes on the way down. The kind of weather, that the second you walk outside, it makes you want to pee from being so cold. The kind of weather, where yellow snow is in season and ready to be eaten. Apparently, cold weather attracts urine. And R. Kelly is in fact from Chicago. Coincidence? I think not.

Why in the fuck do dogs walk in circles before they lay down? My little retarded dog just went to lay down, but deemed it necessary to spin around, and yes I counted, 5 times. Let's expand on this shall we? I read somewhere that people believe that ancient Egytian dogs were afraid of snakes biting them so they would turn around to make sure there are no snakes where they are laying. I have also heard that they do this to flatten the grass before they lay down outside. This shit sounds so made up, that I felt it necessary to make up my own reason.

Dogs are dumb asses.

We are up to my favorite time of the season now. Shopping season. The time where every single cock sucking fuckhead comes out and goes to the exact same stores I am going into. They aim to piss you off by getting a cart full of shit and waiting for the perfect moment to walk in front of you. And what do they do after they are in front of you? They stop. They put their entire life in park. And that is when they notice their kid is missing. They have an entire cart full of shit and have no idea where they lost their kid. Their dirty little sticky fingered kid who is running around opening up all the toys and touching everything they see. You know these kids. The kids with snot running down their face because they don't have winter jackets either. The kids whose faces are always dirty and have kool-aid stains on them. The kids who talk to every single person they see and never heard of "Stranger Danger". I hate these parents and I hate these kids. Want to know why the toy aisle is fucked up? Because young Robbie "Jam Fingers" O'Douchebag is running around opening everything while his parents are carting around shit and stopping in front of people yelling his name out.

The above has nothing to do with when I went into the toy aisle on Tuesday to once again try to find my niece something and found that half the shit was dirty or opened.

Weird, I actually feel better now.

Lastly, I got my car back. It was a tiny bit expensive, but saved me a ton of money still and fixed numerous problems along the way. I cannot say how much I appreciate having a brother who is mechanic and has hook ups like he does. In case any of you are gear heads or whatever the term is for them now and want to talk with someone who really knows his shit, stop by here and check him out.My brother.

He has an email link on there and works on Motorcycles as well as sells them so feel free to drop him an email. I think you have to be a member of myspace.com though.

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